Category: Personal


She Fades


Image found on militarymoulage.com

Image found on militarymoulage.com

She bleeds out,

Onto the floor.

Doctors work

Furiously

To save her life.

She sees

The bright lights

Shining above her head.

She is fading,

The doctor tries to

Convince her to stay

With a blink,

She is gone.

The lights

Fade to black.

There is nothing.


Image found on melophea.blogspot.com

Image found on melophea.blogspot.com

Drowning in a black hole,

Darkness that never ends.

Hopelessness at the end

Of a tethered, frayed rope.

Choking on an unknown lump,

Without any relief,

Everything is colorless,

A rope around my ankles

With an enormous rock attached.

Sleep is the only avoidance,

Helpless like a scared child,

Frightened of yourself,

Feeling worthless.

Crushing sadness for no reason,

Reaching out,

And there is no one.

Feeling controlled

By an abusive lover,

Monotony, sitting and staring.

Train in a dark tunnel

Coming at you.

The demon taunts.

Soulmates


Image found on tumblr.com

Our love is so solid,

I can’t seem to understand

My blessed fortune.

So much loyalty,

Unconditional love,

And connection

That is beyond beautiful.

A richer life,

Now that he’s in it,

I wonder if angels above

Sent you to me

Like a gift from the heavens.

Home to Me


Image found at quora.com

Image found at quora.com

At my home,

Cozy night,

droplets of rain

dancing along the

window sills.

Snuggled up

next to the man

I love the most,

he’s my true home.

Inhaling the

scent of him,

treasuring the

smallest of moments.

He is my home,

my center,

my light,

the love of my life.


King2

My canary is a sweet boy, mild and yellow,

His beautiful songs remind me of spring.

The melodies are so soft and mellow,

And his bossiness is why I named him King.

 

He chirps and flutters about his cage,

Every morning he welcomes the day.

He calms me any time I might feel rage,

And delights me when he comically plays.

He is quite curious about all around him,

And he nods his head this way and that.

He does not like that is bird bath is slim,

He would much rather splash water at a cat.

Oh how I love my little melodious birdie,

Even though it means his endless captivity.

King


Cold, cement steps with an

Equally cold railing attached.

Long breaths as I climb the steps.

Open the door,

Smells of grandma’s Italian sauce.

Old Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra songs

Play in the background.

It is warm, small, yet inviting.

The scent of light perfume

As my grandma hugs me tightly.

A feeling of being safe,

It’s the safest spot in the world.

Singing along with the music,

Loud voices chatter about

The latest family gossip.

There is a clock that chimes each hour,

Like a diligent soldier standing guard.

Football game in the other room.

Men are shouting at the ref’s call.

Everyone sits down to eat.

Food is love.

Food is family.

Lots of love and warmth,

Security, safety.

Some of the only consistency

In my life.

Happiness to be

near my beautiful grandmother.

Comfort.

Boisterous and loud talking, laughing,

Having fun with each other.

I don’t want to leave.

Remnants of my childhood

Linger there.

My happiest days

As a child were spent there.

Pain of the loss

of days gone by.

Scan_Pic0004

For Antonio Miguel


Photo by William D. Wright

Photo by William D. Wright

He’s the best thing I have ever done,

My son, my light, my life, my choice.

When he was born my light almost went out,

But I knew I wasn’t going anywhere; not without him.

When I look at him, I still see a three year old,

Innocent, naïve, still the smell of baby about him.

He is what has saved my life many times,

I know not what my existence would be if he weren’t born.

His voice is like the dawn of a new day,

Filled with hope, unconditional love and comfort.

I know I have shaped a beautiful legacy,

When I look into those beautiful brown eyes; much like mine.

Scan_Pic0055

Need for Solitude


Image found on idealistrevolution.org

Image found on idealistrevolution.org

Beyond all

of the noise of life,

The wish to be alone.

I give looks to my loved ones,

Like the “Grumpy Cat.”

I want my space; go away.

I don’t want to hear

Mindless babble about

How you spent your day.

My fleece blankets,

Soft like the fluffiest of bunnies.

They become my sanctuary,

Peace and rest.

It’s my space,

You will move things.

Get the fuck out

And leave me be.

 

Aloneness is what I crave,

What I need.

Recharge, regroup, refresh, rebuild.

No words, just mindless yammering

Of the TV that I really don’t want to listen to.

 

Snuggling deeper with my favorite monkey,

I’m have no cares in the world.

Beyond all of this,

The wish to be alone.


Image by William D. Wright

Image by William D. Wright

Quiet man,

Always smiling,

Always joking.

All of my friends loved him,

Wanted their dads to be like mine.

Hardworking; never complained,

Slivers of metal in his beard

From the foundry.

Never let anything stop him

From supporting his family.

He always found a way.

Carried me on his shoulders

Everywhere we went.

I was “daddy’s girl” for a long time,

Until my teenage years.

Then it was like he no longer

Understood me.

Didn’t know how to handle me,

Or my wildness, my urges

To break free of him, of authority.

Always the protector,

Always where it was safe.

Recliner, TV, a beer,

And sunflower seeds.

Saturday Night Live.

 

Never yelled back

Loved us even when

Me and my sisters

drove him nuts.

He’s proud of the things

I have done for myself.

Sometimes I don’t think

He knows what to do

When I show strength.

 

I find him

in awe of my survival.

Tired, missing his parents

who passed away.

So tired, body aches

From a lifetime of

Hard, physical work.

Never complained,

Fixed our cars,

Mowed the lawn,

Shoveled the snow.

No, girls can’t do that.

Sometimes old fashioned

In his ways of thinking.

Loves to cook for everyone,

Happy when people

Enjoy his food.

Sauce, salsa,

He’s proud of himself.

 


Image found on Huffingtonpost

Image found on Huffingtonpost

My addiction is in my past,

It doesn’t define me.

I’m sorry I hid behind it

For so long,

Used it to forget my

Past hurts,

Used it to take away

My pain.

 

My addiction,

Holds me no longer,

I am free.

I let it go,

I run, I fly.

I’m sorry

I wasted so much

Time when I

Could have done more.

I am not my addiction.

It does not define me.